How do you chase wedding guests who never reply, without nagging them?
Every destination wedding has them. The invite went out months ago, most people have replied and there’s still a little group who’ve said absolutely nothing. Planners we’ve spoken to dread this bit alot, because you need the answers but you don’t want to be the person messaging the bride’s auntie for the fourth time.
Why they go quiet
Mostly its not rudeness. A guest who hasn’t booked flights yet often reckons they’ve got nothing to tell you, so they leave it. Some think their partner already did it. Some opened the form on their phone, saw how long it was and decided to do it later, and later never came.
So before you chase anyone it’s worth looking at what you’re actually asking them for.
Ask for less, in two goes
Split the yes or no from the details. Someone who hasn’t got a flight can still tell you if they’re coming, and thats the answer you need first. Ask for flights and hotels later, once people have had time to book.
Then tell them why you need it and by when. “By 1 March please, so the venue can confirm numbers” gets further than “as soon as you can”, because as soon as you can is never.
Plan the chasing before you need it
Decide the order now, while your calm, rather than the week the venue wants numbers. Here’s how we’d do it.
- Only message the people who haven’t answered. Nothing annoys a guest who replied in week one like being reminded to reply.
- Make each one shorter than the last. The first can be friendly and explain things. By the third its one line and one link.
- Say something new each time. The same message sent again looks automatic, and people treat it that way. Give them a reason, like the venue wanting numbers or the welcome drinks being planned.
- Change how you ask. If email hasn’t worked twice, a third email won’t either. Try a message or a quick call.
- Check the time where they are. A guest in Sydney doesn’t want your polite reminder at 3am.
Let the couple do the hard ones
Some people will ignore a planner they’ve never met but they won’t ignore the couple. Near the end, give the couple a short list of names, not the spreadsheet, and ask them to send a quick personal message. It takes them five minutes and it keeps you from being the bad guy.
Agree what no reply means
This is the bit people skip. Sit down with the couple early and agree what happens if someone still hasn’t answered by the final date. Usually that means counting them as not coming for the venue’s numbers, but its their call, and its alot easier to agree in January than the week before.
Then tell the guest, once, plainly. “We give the venue final numbers on Friday, and we’ll take you as not coming unless we hear from you.” That’s not nagging, its just clear. And its the first message they’ve had with a real consequence attached, so its the one we’d expect to get an answer.
Why we built EventRide
Seeing who still hasn’t answered, without digging through a spreadsheet, is part of why we built this. EventRide is an AI-enabled platform for destination weddings and events. Guest management for the planner, a dashboard for the couple and a personal page for every guest, with multiple useful features, such as live flight tracking and travel & accommodation matching.
If you plan destination weddings and want to see it, have a look at the demo or book a quick call, opens in a new tab. And if you’ve got a chasing trick that works, we’d love to hear it.
The EventRide team
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